2 things: I listened to my mind, and I futzed with my left fingers’ approach. The left hand thing has been going on for about a week-and-a-half. I got some advice from a colleague about a different way of thinking about coming at the string. It started me compartmentalizing the stages of a note – from the first instant, through the body of it, at its concluding moments, and on into the next one. I hadn’t ever really done that. It’s not as though I hadn’t heard it discussed. I just somehow couldn’t focus on that sort of minutia until more recently. So this was fun for awhile, playing with these stages. There are many ways of commencing a note – with a ping, with a plop, with a lean, with a tickle. And the choice you make here affects the continuation of it – the pingier the attack, the more likely there is you will have a lighter body, from a releasing action. But you can train yourself to start gently and continue gently. I’m more on that notion now. But the key thing which seems to be particularly relevant is that the character of the bow and the music can be reflected in these nuances of the left hand, if you are aware of them (finally). So, thing #1, my mind. Last night I listened to it a bit more objectively than usual. If that is feasible. I didn’t appreciate its tone. Really very judgmental. Why is that? No wonder it is such a relief to blog/journal. Getting my nasty brain onto paper instead of stuck in my suffering skull. But my second thought (not quite my first) gave me hope for my mental health: I bet a lot of people are dealing with these crappy thought tendencies. And some learn how to manage nonetheless. So, that means a couple of things: I am not a freak, and therefore not an impossible case study, and there must be some effective means of overcoming it. Hopelessness has never been particularly useful.

originally published on 12/14/09