I just noticed that I was about to repeat myself here. Imagine that. I suppose I might be able to work out some of my patterned behavior if I dissect this blog a bit. If I were to figure out what my patterns were, would that be of some help for me, or am I really unchangeable deep down? Do you try to accept who you are and make your life fit around you, or do you try to accomplish certain things in life and work to fitting your personal tendencies better? Is pain or pleasure better at urging you to change? I think pleasure and comfort actually tend to pull me back to earlier patterns, whereas discomfort and sorrow require some new action be taken.

What I was wondering is, are there long-range patterns which I could decipher? I think today is a new day, but is it? Maybe today is the 4th day of a bi-weekly pattern which I just haven’t figured out yet. Perhaps knowing that would give me the opportunity to observe this ebb and flow of my moods and habits. If I can observe, then I can see which things are serving me well and which are ridiculously useless. Maybe I can plan out a new map for how I will manage the natural shapes of my cycles.

originally published on 9/13/09