I am writing this to clarify thoughts I have been having, primarily about eating. I have had instances where I thought I was clear in my mind about something, but time ended up causing a fading effect to my ideas, to the point where I could barely remember what I was thinking.

I realized a few weeks ago that everything I’ve been trying to do with eating may very well be biting me in the ass. I was going with the assumption that the basic philosophy of Overeaters Anonymous is probably a good rule of thumb – that being that the closer you can get to abstinence the better.

I just watched an episode of House. It delved into his psyche by way of a therapy session. I do like the question of the search for one’s truth. At first, I got a hankering for the way he was obliged to verbalize his life and the meaning thereof. It’s certainly cathartic. Why can’t things be that easy, that simple? Why can’t life be that straightforward? Are other people’s lives simple like that? I feel they might be. I feel my life is too multi-faceted. I can’t really keep things straight like I’d like to. And it’s not because of what you think. It’s not externally overwhelming. My worst falls into oblivion come when I’m bereft of activities and distractions, obligations.

As I was previously saying (and hopefully to some useful end), I had an epiphany about my eating. Something about what Khwan likes to say just clicked. The answer isn’t to overpower the cravings, it’s to incorporate them into my life. They are natural. Fighting with them is like fighting anything that’s innate. They eventually will get the upper hand.

So from that point on, I have been incorporating my cravings and temptations into my daily food consumption, without nearly as much of a fight. I’ve been trying to view them as a proportion of what I require gastronomically. It seems to have helped. I’m a little more even keeled. Less of the see-saw effect, where I deny and then binge.

Unfortunately, I am not seeing an improvement in the slimming down department. This morning I decided I would try to tweak my system. I’m not sure it was a success. I thought I would spread out the satisfying of my cravings or temptations. I even thought I could separate cravings and temptations into different categories, cravings being the real, biochemical versions of the fake temptations. So that way I could really wait until the craving kicked in before I’d give in to it. But it turns out that the psychological temptations are nearly as powerful as the physiological cravings. Hmmm.