Last night we did the dangerous duo of operas, giving me ample time to test out my electricity theories. They were effectual for a while, but eventually I needed other tricks up my sleeve to retain any sort of left hand comfort. What seems to always be the outcome of nights like that, if I’m lucky, is a funny Zen state where everything just falls together in its own rhythm. All the theories which could sometimes seem contradictory – electrical connection, tiny spasms, only tensing the playing finger, breathing through things, non-interference (allowing things to just happen), and any of my other dissections – they all fall into the background of the magic mental state which I cannot plan for. Of course it’s frustrating to think of why I can’t skip the middle man and go right to the dessert course. Maybe I would get bored. I would have no mountains to scale, then. I would be content.
Often the Zen feeling comes over me after I have tried a few of my tricks, and I sort of give up. It seems nearly impossible to get that given up feeling before having given something up. I have tried.

originally published on 3/24/09