I just noticed that mood-altering attempts actually worsen my mood swings. I have naturally wide mood fluctuations. Perhaps accepting that fact could help me restrain myself from artificially controlling them.
I engage in an activity that appears on the surface to make me feel good. And maybe it does. There’s the trouble. Once I am under the spell of this external high, my internal barometer loses its centering abilities, however ineffectual they may be, and I have to take a great deal of time and concentration to eventually regroup and find my spiritual balance.

I might consider enjoying my own natural highs and lows, leaving the external, imposed ones to others who are less volatile.

originally published on 6/21/08