So, the theory is, I can begin limiting myself (in a way) to behaving not like an angel, not like a devil, but somewhere in that gray area in between. If I can sustain this behavior pattern long enough, it will force hidden feelings out of me which I have heretofore masked via those extreme states, which are somewhat obsessive and highly distracting states, really. The more I sustain the gray, the more things will come out of me which I have kept hidden, and which are only doing me harm in there. I must just be normal. And I must be in a state to handle what comes forth from this theoretically more natural place I will be in, which is not one extreme or another. Just being.

originally published on 3/29/07