I’ve known musicians who conclude that in order to be happy and fulfilled, they must find more meaning in life than simply excelling at music-making. Although I have explored many other facets of life, in my heart I never really left the womb of music. I have even suggested to people that everything they do should be in the service of their music, philosophically speaking.
I guess today at the bookstore I found a chink in that armor/cocoon. There really must be more to life than music. There is obviously more for 99% of people in the world. Maybe it would have to be a birth of sorts for me – and just as difficult and shocking to my system. Maybe that is one of the main loops I get stuck in: I try to expand my cello-oriented perspective, find it too daunting and alien, and soon fall back to where I started. When I peruse my blog entries, I see how often I have felt like I cannot grow or progress from a place of dissatisfaction, no matter what steps I take. This could explain why.

originally published on 6/20/08