I have made a list of things which I would like to trace back to their familial roots. I have been continuing to journal about finding my place in the puzzle which is my family of origin. Here are the categories I would like to investigate:
Money, Food, Exercise, Work Ethic, Sleep, The Arts, Emotional Expression, Religion, Rebellion.

These would certainly be a good start. I can tell already that comparing my feelings to those of other family members will uncover many sources of my tendencies. I can take almost any topic, really, and trace it back to its roots in past generations. I can also take another family member’s personality quirks and attempt to do the same. It seems to be a deep wellspring in the pursuit of self-knowledge.

originally published on 2/27/08

I can see how I am different. I can see how I am not a conforming person. I view relationships in an unusual way. I view friendships like family. Maybe this is learned. I view love and friendship in the same basic category. All three, love, friendship and family, have an underlying quality which links them. Apparently this is something of a taboo idea. It is at least almost completely unspoken. People put up huge barriers between these three sentiments.

Another way of saying it is that there are different kinds of families. Families can spring up from various sources. The idea of family is transferable. I could say the same thing about love and friendship, but for me, family is the purest concept of the three, so I can use it best.

originally published on 6/13/07

Nothing quite like ringing the doorbell at their homes. I remember it vividly. It got to be my honor when I was big enough. Then their embrace. Ahh. Simple joys. As simple as being alive. That’s what family means to me – some of the deepest joys I have ever known. I remember hearing about unconditional love later on. It seemed utterly redundant. I never knew another kind.
As far as I knew, all the other stuff were the inconsequential details. The soup, the candy, the music, the cards, the bed, the couch and table. They were all awash in the warmth of love around and inside me. Each relative was a new chance to experience these feelings, in their own unique flavor. I was spoiled, insofar as I was granted such affectionate abundance.

originally published on 2/20/08